


Confess Me

by Shatterpath



Series: Pyramid [5]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Canon Dialogue, Coming Out, Gen, Heart-to-Heart, Love, Mother-Daughter Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 16:17:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9499790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shatterpath/pseuds/Shatterpath
Summary: A missing scene from episode 8, where Alex and Eliza speak heart to heart in the DEO lab.Takes place on Saturday, November 26th.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I love this scene so much, but was forced to skip over it in the main narrative as this takes place during Lena's long POV. It also deals with Lena's drunk-dial the night before…
> 
> Takes place right after the first scene of chapter eight of 'What Works For Us' and parts of this will make little sense out of context.

As happened so often, they were at breakneck pace to unravel the mystery, to save lives, to bring the perpetrators to justice. That some lunatic had killed every alien in the Dollywood bar in one fell swoop was a reality that Alex had not yet dealt with. Not to mention Kara's being upset that it was her own father that had created the Medusa Virus and something weird was happening with J'onn, the confession crowding her throat, Guardian, Maggie, Lena's batshit crazy mother… Lena…

Staying busy was a godsend at the moment. Because when Alex slowed down, it was all going to hit her too hard. If not for her mother close by, she was beginning to wonder if she was going to break down.

Thoughts of mothers brought Alex's guilty attention back to the phone tucked into her tac belt. She'd seen the missed call notification earlier, the icon for a voice message beside it, when calling her mom in to help with this latest crisis. She'd spotted Lena's name above her number with its Metropolis area code and hesitated, but it hadn't left her mind, nagging at her like bruised ribs.

There was no one in the world better suited to deciphering the Medusa Virus than her astrobiologist mother and Alex was thrilled to be working with her on something so intricate and exciting. That the whole thing was deadly to all alien life was unfortunately status quo.

The phone felt heavy in her hand as she stared at its dark face.

"I'll be back in a minute," Eliza said, pausing when she noticed how Alex barely reacted, her attention zeroed in on her phone, held in a tense hand. Something was bothering her eldest and it had nothing to do with work.

Alone for the moment in the quiet lab, Alex swallowed hard and tapped instructions into the phone, held the device to her ear, braced herself. She had no idea what to expect, relationships had never been her forte, and she hadn't heard Lena's voice since their date. What could this message be? Terror left Alex tense and jumpy as faint noises came over the line.

When this was all over, she would either be miserable and alone and possibly with an enemy more dangerous than she really wanted to contemplate, or she would be sucking up for a long, long time for not listening before now. She really wanted a chance at that second option, ached for it in a way she was completely unfamiliar with. 

There was breathing captured in the recording, slow and labored with a harsh edge of a roughened throat. Lena's voice hummed up from her throat low and deep and soft. 

"Miss you, baby," she murmured and Alex's breath caught on a strangled sob. "Make me brave, catch me…"

Not so much soft, her voice was achingly vulnerable beneath the slur of alcohol, her need carrying over the line like a siren. There were other sounds then, Lena's voice sighing out something wordless and needy, the muffled impact of her phone onto a soft surface, that rough breathing slowing and smoothing into sleep.

Alex longed to be there, to have been there, to wrap her lover up against what pained her. Caring about someone wasn't supposed to hurt like this was it? But didn't care come with pain? Every time her loved ones hurt, she hurt along with them. It was the nature of care, of connection… of love.

Having returned silently, Eliza saw how Alex curled into herself, confused and hurting, shoving the phone into its pocket with a roughness the device didn't deserve. Jaw set, she shook off whatever was bothering her and brought up those impassive walls, a sheer force of will that smoothed her expression and straightened her spine.

But her mother wasn't fooled.

When Eliza had first held this squalling girl child all those years ago, she had loved her from the start. There had been greatness in her that showed early in the depthless curiosity in those big, dark eyes, in the way she plowed through challenges, often head first. Some part of Eliza had always been grateful to have only her Alexandra underfoot, for she was a handful in all the best and worst ways: intelligent, strong-willed, persistent and so very temperamental. Nothing would satisfy the bottomless pit of her energy and curiosity, little could calm her into stillness, but she was so endlessly fascinating and so very easy to love.

Then Kara had come along, dropping right into the middle of fractious teenage years slowly driving both Alex and Eliza mad, even with Jeremiah doing his best to bridge the gaps. That finally tamed Alex, gave her a focus that steadied something a little crazed in her child that Eliza was certain she would never fully understand. Through the sorts of stresses no family on Earth could comprehend, through the loss of a father no child should ever know, the girls anchored one another and made each other better.

If only Alex could remember that more often.

Something communicated through that phone had hit one of those vulnerable spots, left Alex shaken. And for better or worse, Eliza had never been good at not pushing to understand. So she walked over, trying to keep her body language calm and once more took a shot at understanding.

"So, what is it?"

The question was calm, neutral, an invitation to share. 

"Oh, I've got the mainframe breaking down the virus on a molecular level."

Apparently, a little too neutral an invitation.

"No, I mean, I know you've been trying to tell me something."

It was eerie sometimes, how well Alex had learned to deflect… to lie. "Oh... No," she said with only a slight edge in her voice, standing up to step away to another monitor, but the armor was cracking. Eliza could hear it in the questioning tone of the final, "no?" So she waited, watched her daughter's rigid back gentle as she sighed and spoke with a voice both resigned and frustrated. "How?"

"Keeping a secret disagrees with you, sweetie."

Turning, Alex revealed the hints of vulnerability in those endlessly expressive eyes, in the set of her mouth, childhood tells that leaked through training and trauma.

"This isn't like that, Mom."

She sounded exhausted. Not a physical exhaustion, but something of the soul. That's what Eliza could not turn away from, that aching heart of this daughter she loved with all of her own, scarred heart.

Eliza remembered Vickie, remembered crushes on teachers and friends and celebrities that had just… faded away. And she had never pursued it, just as she had never pursued a great many things with her willful child. There was no going back to fix the past, but she would sure as hell step up in the present.

"Does it have anything to do with Maggie? You mention her a lot." Oh, how that observation made Alex's body language change, conflict and vulnerability written all over her, mouth opening wordlessly. So Eliza gently pursued the theme. "Or maybe this mystery woman you keep cutting yourself off over? I think I might have caught a Lee in there somewhere. Something in that phone message?" And then Alex was truly rattled, eyes jumpy, throat tense, and Eliza wanted only to comfort her. "Oh, my beautiful Alexandra, why is it so hard for you to tell me?"

Arms crossed and nodding jerkily, Alex was on the edge of breaking down, feeling the waves of conflicting emotions clawing at her self-control. "I feel like I'm, uh… I'm letting you down somehow."

"Why would your being gay ever let me down?" The question was so gentle that Alex shook with it and she really had no good answer, stammering out one of the desperate excuses she'd used like armor on herself for so many years.

"You always wanted me to have a regular life."

"Alex, look at the life our family has led. Look at me, look at your sister." The edge of wry humor bled away a bit of the tension, though Alex still looked like a deer in headlights. "I don't think you believe I ever expected you to have a regular life. You were always gonna be different, Alex. Because you were always exceptional. And I love you however you are." She poured everything she had into the declaration, wanting her anxious baby to really hear it through the noise in her own head. It pushed down some of those heavy emotional walls so that at last Eliza finally felt she could step in close and wrap up her grown child in a tight embrace. "Come here." 

The relief at feeling the hug returned was a poignant one, for the ache of all of those semi-estranged years still lingered. Part of Alex was still holding back, but that could be the location as much as anything, because there was no hiding the relief in her shuddering sigh. For her part, Alex wallowed in the childish safety of her mother's arms for lingering moments, soaked up the acceptance and love.


End file.
